by Alex Bennett

DO YOU KNOW WHY YOUR TV IS ABOUT TO FUCK YOU?

Okay, here’s the exam. What does the date February 17, 2009, mean to you? You’ve seen it, but where exactly? How about superimposed over the lower third of your favorite TV show? Now you’ve got it. That’s the day television goes completely digital, and your old reliable analog TV disappears forever. Maybe. Have I lost you yet? Well, here’s what you should know:

In May 1941 the FCC adopted America’s television standard of 525 total scan lines. Those are electron beams that sketch the picture in small lines across the face of the television tube. We weren’t the first country with TV. Germany, for example, had it in the ’30s. Their system was developed to a standard of 625 scan lines. The more lines, the better the definition of the picture. That’s why, if you’ve ever watched TV in Europe, the picture always seems so much better. Why we adopted an inferior system is beyond me, but I’ll bet it had to do with politics and payoffs.

There was another problem with international TV broadcasting: Our system was called NTSC, while other countries could choose between PAL and SECAM. There was no worldwide standard. What a mess. In the U.S., TV made its commercial debut in 1946. The momentous event would have been earlier, but World War II got in the way. Everything was black-and-white and fuzzy, but people would sit around happily watching the old Indian head test pattern just because it was there.

Color came along soon after. The first system to be approved by the FCC was from CBS, which started broadcasting color programs in 1951. Viewing required a TV set with a large whirling color wheel that made it incompatible with black-and-white shows. Archrival RCA’s original system was rejected because it wasn’t ready for prime time. However, its engineers persevered, coming up with, among other things, a black-and-whitecompatible system that coincidently improved on the original set. RCA also reportedly started rumors that the CBS set’s color wheel could come loose and decapitate its viewers. The fight between the two titans was prolonged, but CBS finally threw in the towel due to mounting production problems. RCA’s television network, NBC, launched limited colorcasts in 1954. That was 55 years ago, and one could argue that nothing of significance has changed in the United States since, with the exception of stereo sound.

In the meantime, other countries— notably Japan—had been working on new systems meant to create a TV picture in high definition. Many of them were analog as opposed to being strictly digital. I suppose another explanation is due. Analog is a variable continuous signal. Digital is a series of 0s and 1s basically representing on and off. Digital is said to be more flexible and efficient than analog, and it uses less bandwidth.

Still scratching your head? Never mind. It’s not important to know how digital technology works, just that it exists and that some people are going to get rich from it. In case you haven’t been paying attention, digital has been, over the past few years, slowly replacing analog. That’s why the FCC, which loves to establish standards, eventually mandated a cutoff date for analog television: February 17, 2009. Yes, it’s a Tuesday, which makes no sense at all.

So are you going to benefit from all this? Well, the analog system was ancient, and you will get a better picture with digital. All those crappy shows on your old TV will look better, but they’ll still be crappy shows. The real beneficiaries will be the manufacturers of TV equipment.

If you have an old-fashioned tube set, you must have a converter if you still want to receive a video broadcast signal on it. That will cost around $50—if you get a coupon from the government. On the other hand, if you have cable or satellite, you’re already good to go. If you don’t, maybe it’s time to buy a newfangled digital picture box. The cost of the flat-screen digital TVs is coming down to what tube prices once were. If you look around, you can get into a 32-inch set for around $500.

There will, of course, be some people left out in the digital cold because food comes first. After all, we’re in a recession. Gas costs a bundle, and mac ’n’ cheese is a major staple for some in the working class. How are they supposed to get their entertainment and information?

There might have been a better way. Those old channels could have been kept on the air, but the telecommunications boys have been drooling over them for years. Think of the bucks being spent by millions of people to do the conversion. It’s good for business. Still confused? Then you probably don’t want to hear about the two existing digital systems: 1080i and 720p, not to mention the 1080p, which….

Aw, fuck it! It’s all a big mess.

—————————–

Alex Bennett is a longtime HUSTLER contributor. The twotime Emmy winner, who broke into broadcasting at age 14, currently calls Sirius Left 146 his radio home.

Tags: Alex Bennett, Digital Television

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 29th, 2009 at 8:00 pm and is filed under Alex Bennett Articles. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.