Asshole of the Month from HUSTLER MAGAZINE September 2009

Representative Jane Harman (DCalifornia) should admit she’s a whore and take a job at the Moonlite BunnyRanch. Of course, we expect she’d only give blowjobs to Israelis and Alberto Gonzales. And, okay, maybe a few Republicans.

 Think we’re being unfair? Then what do you make of this? In a 2005 wiretap, Harman was heard allegedly promising to use her influence to reduce espionage-related charges against two Israeli agents, provided the American Israeli Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC) lobbied to get her appointed chair of the House Intelligence Committee.

Well, what was a poor girl to do? (Although estimated to be the second-richest member of Congress, Harman is, alas, morally bankrupt.) Speaker Nancy Pelosi had already passed her over for the Intelligence Committee post. So who wouldn’t contemplate treason to secure that position? (It sure looks like treason to us. Based on the tape, Harman was allegedly conspiring with a foreign government to subvert our justice system.)

Why is all this only coming out now? Back in 2006, then-Attorney General Alberto Gonzales apparently ordered the FBI to kill the investigation because he needed Harman’s support for the illegal, warrantless National Security Agency surveillance program being pushed through Congress. Delicious irony, no? Harman ultimately backed the kind of activity that resulted in her undoing.

 But it gets better. Harman went ballistic when she learned her own phone had been tapped, calling it  “an abuse of power. “ Confused? Let us explain: Wiretapping is only wrong when she’s under surveillance. Seems very Republican, doesn’t it? 

“[I’m] the best Republican in the Democratic Party, “ Harman proclaimed during her failed 1998 race for California governor. We’ll take the lawmaker at her word. She voted with the GOP to restrict rules on personal bankruptcy (a knife aimed at the heart of the middle class). She supported the Iraq War. She sponsored the Violent Radicalization and Homegrown Terrorism Prevention Act of 2007, which imposed unconstitutional limitations on free speech. As head of the House Homeland Security Subcommittee on Intelligence, Information Sharing and Terrorism Risk Assessment, Harman must have known about clandestine activities, including torture. Worse, in 2004 she apparently tried pressuring the New York Times into deep-sixing the story that exposed the NSA’s warrantless wiretapping. 

“I believe the program is essential to U.S. national security, “ she said back then,  “and that its disclosure has damaged critical intelligence capabilities. “ Harman went on to call whistleblowers  “despicable “ and argued for  “limits on press immunity. “ Harman, you pathetic bitch. If it’s abuse of power when the government spies on you, then it’s abuse of power when the rest of us are spied on. Of course, in your case, you actually do seem to be committing an indictable offense. On the other hand, most Americans subjected to illegal surveillance hadn’t committed a criminal act.

Then there’s the press. You’ve argued it has too much immunity when it exposes the truth. But full immunity for the telecommunications companies that cooperated with the government’s illegal snooping on their customers is perfectly okay, right? You did vote to grant them retroactive immunity. So you’re against an unfettered press and for a repressive, Stalinist government that spies on its own people— as long as it isn’t you.

We should also note that Harman’s attempt to suppress the story of the Bush Administration’s illegal wiretapping just before the hotly contested 2004 Presidential election was certain to benefit the incumbents, not her own party. She betrayed both her fellow Democrats and her country with that single act alone.

Hopefully, the government will prosecute Harman (who has denied any wrongdoing regarding her tape-recorded conversation) and put her in jail. If not, she’s likely to run for governor of California again unless Barbara Boxer or Dianne Feinstein beats her to the punch. But this egomaniacal little cocksucker won’t be satisfied with the governorship. In truth, we’ve heard she actually has her eye on the Presidency.

Apparently, one of Harman’s chief supporters is pro-Israeli billionaire Haim Saban. A Democratic Party benefactor, Saban was allegedly working with AIPAC when he threatened to withhold political funding to Pelosi if she didn’t nominate Harman for the Intelligence Committee chair. Should Harman ever become President, she’d owe her allegiance to the Israeli lobby. God help us.

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You may purchase the September 2009 Issue of HUSTLER Magazine (with free shipping) from HustlerMagazine.com.

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