THROW THE BASTARDS OUT!
OUR ELECTED REPRESENTATIVES ON CAPITOL HILL HAVE SCREWED US RIGHT AND LEFT. IT’S TIME TO SEND A POWERFUL MESSAGE.
by Alex Bennett
From HUSTLER MAGAZINE – March 2010
The other day I saw an interview with that enemy of the people, Glenn Beck. I’ve always believed the adage that even a stopped clock is right twice a day, and Beck proved me right when he said, “Everybody is mad at Washington.”
The people who disgusted me at those televised town hall meetings and at the March on Washington—yelling and screaming their nonsense while clutching badly spelled signs— were angry at the body politic.Well, so am I.
Have I become one of them? My politics are different, but my ire is just as rich. I too share a hatred for that fools confederation in the legislative and administrative branches of government that makes our lives a living hell. I differ, however, in how I see the country moving forward.
Politicians! Day after day, week after week, year after year, they sit around playing a stupid little game using their dicks (and some vaginas) as swords to see who has the power. At the same time, We the People sit with our dicks in our hands doing nothing while getting screwed. The worst part is we put up with it thinking that eventually these jerks will fix the economy. In fact, they keep playing their games, and we keep suffering.
Once a U.S. senator gets elected, he stays in office for six years. When it’s time for reelection, he has accrued enough power (read: money from lobbyists) to retain his seat. This cycle repeats itself until one day the senator drops dead of old age—an age achieved due to a great healthcare plan paid for by us.
In the meantime lobbyists bought him lunches and dinners, paid for his trips to exotic lands and gave him who knows how many other perks that will allow his family to inherit millions. All that time he lived off the public dole while using his influence to wheel and deal. What do we get? An early grave and the debt we leave our loved ones.
These guys are a bunch of worthless fucks, and even the best of them doesn’t make up for the rest. It gets worse each year. The games get nastier, and less gets done. As of now this country is at a standstill, paralyzed by the greed and stupidity that is called Washington politics.
Are you getting the idea I’m pissed? Well, I’ll bet you are too—even if your politics are the polar opposite of mine. What we have in common is that we’re sick of the way business is being done in our name. Our politicians have ceased to care about us. It doesn’t matter whether they’re Democrats or Republicans.
Happily, we’re still able to fight back. Forget those well-intentioned letters to your representatives, and enough already with demonstrations and those cute placards with catchy phrases—they’re a waste of time. The good ol’ boys don’t care what you think. They’re way past that. What we need to do is vote the bastards out!
Our supposed two-party system is an illusion. The Democratic and Republican parties have almost finished their merge into a single, pro-corporate entity. The fighting between them is a charade designed to keep us thinking there is a difference. It’s time for a third party that responds to the needs of 21st-century Americans.
I wish that some of the other political parties— for example, the Green Party, the Labor Party—were viable, but they just aren’t. Ross Perot managed to catch that lightning in a bottle until he went off the rails. People responded to Perot because he was articulating the public’s frustrations.
Creating a powerful third party, and even a fourth or fifth party, would be a daunting task that might take many years. So what can we do in the meantime? I say we scare the shit out of them!
Let’s send a message to every incumbent in Washington, even if they’re doing a good job, by not voting for him or her.Vote for a challenger no matter who it is. That doesn’t mean Democrats have to vote Republican or vice versa. There are always other candidates, some of whom might not be that bad once you listen to them.
The message has to be sent to our representatives. We’re their employer, and they’d better shape up. Otherwise they’ll wind up on the same unemployment line with everyone else—the unemployment line created by the politicians. If we kick the bastards out in large enough numbers, they just might pay attention.
Alex Bennett is a longtime HUSTLER contributor. The two-time Emmy winner, who broke into broadcasting as a teenager, currently calls Sirius Left 146 his radio home.
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