from HUSTLER Magazine January 2011

He poses as a journalist and a publisher. In reality, Andrew (not so) Breitbart is a rightwing propagandist intent on bringing down the Obama Administration while advancing Republican objectives. Possessing a black belt in lying, this refugee from Hell’s Internet will stoop to any trick or act of duplicity. That includes, most certainly, race-baiting.

Breitbart, a keynote speaker at the first National Tea Party Convention and a selfconfessed bitch of conservative blogger Matt Drudge, first came to our attention as a result of the ACORN scandal.You remember ACORN, right?

That grassroots organization helped the poor and disenfranchised with healthcare, affordable housing, voter registration and other social concerns. Back in 2009 James O’Keefe posing as a pimp (sort of) visited eight ACORN offices with an undercover camera and an accomplice named Hannah Giles, who played the role of a hooker (sort of). O’Keefe’s footage wound up on Fox News Channel, which presented it as proof that ACORN staffers were willing to help individuals set up a prostitution ring. Due to the controversy, ACORN lost funding and eventually closed all of its offices.

One problem with the above: It was all precipitated by lies, largely the result of trick editing. (ACORN has since been exonerated by the U.S. Government Accountability Office and the attorneys general of California and Kings County, New York.) Guess who put O’Keefe up to stinging ACORN? Andrew Breitbart. Because of him, a noble institution went down the tubes.

Shirley Sherrod was the target of a similar sham. Once again, Breitbart in an alleged collaboration with Fox News released a highly doctored tape. This one seemingly revealed a federal employee using her position to discriminate against whites. As with ACORN, that charge has since been proven completely false.

So you must ask yourself: What kind of person is so lacking in morals and ethics that he would ruin a person’s life with lies and distortions?

Breitfart, as some refer to him, got his start as a suck-up to Matt Drudge, who also treats the truth as if it were Silly Putty something to be molded any which way you choose. What Breitbart did for Drudge isn’t entirely clear because the former protegé refuses to talk about it. We’re guessing it had to do with Drudge’s laundry and housekeeping. (We wouldn’t want to talk about that either.)

Breitbart worked with Drudge for the better part of ten years. Then, with his brain sufficiently addled by Drudge’s upside-down, reversed-mirror politics, he parted ways with his mentor. Afraid to go solo, Breitbart coproduced a documentary about the suicide of Clinton Administration appointee Vince Foster.The account was so inept, the History Channel never ran it. Then he coauthored Hollywood, Interrupted , a book you can buy on Amazon for $1.99.

Finally, after an apparent failed interlude with Arianna Huffington, Breitbart found the courage to go it alone. He launched Breitbart.com, then the Web sites Big Hollywood, Big Government and Big Journalism—all, in Breitbart’s own words, aimed at bringing down the “institutional left.” Meanwhile, Breitbart.com comes across as an attention deficit disorder schematic. (The Web mogul has reportedly been diagnosed with ADD.) Since the site is successful, it’s fair to say Breitbart has, in effect, crawled up his own ass and built a cathedral.

Breitbart thinks he’s intelligent because he has a talent for hurting people with falsehoods and half-truths. Too bad there’s no test that considers lying to be a valid measure of intelligence. If there were, we admit, Breitbart would be an off-the-charts genius. Since there isn’t, we see only a sick and confused ego rampaging through the media and blogosphere like a bull (with mad cow disease) in a china shop. Discredited by the public at large, Breitbart faces at least one lawsuit for libel (from Shirley Sherrod), with more to follow we suspect. (Those ACORN people are plenty mad.)

Message to Andrew Breitbart: Remember all those teachers and classmates who told you what a pathetic loser you were back in school? The ones you have spent your whole life trying to prove wrong? They were right! You are a loser, Andrew. Mrs. Sherrod should have little difficulty in proving malice for what you did.And that could cost you a fortune.That very fragile house of cards you’ve built may come tumbling down on you and your family.

Like your right-wing minions, you seem to believe the truth is malleable. You cannot say black is white, or up is down, or sweet is sour. Well, you can say it, but you’d be wrong. And when you slander people, there are legal consequences.

You’ve dug a deep shithole for yourself, Andy boy, and now you’ll have to try climbing out of it. Too bad your Republican friends have pulled up the ladder and turned their backs on you. They see the writing on the wall, and by now so should you.

Finally, Mr. Breitbart, here’s a lesson on libel law: You, sir, are an Asshole.We can say that without fear of contradiction or legal

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